K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
