i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's even glitter on my cock...
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