Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
