Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
