Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
