Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
its liver damage thursday
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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