we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
