Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
