It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
