If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
