I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
