who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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