so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
