woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
