Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
