do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
