i love accidental penises.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I want a musical about memes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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