It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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