You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
