i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
that's an acceptable place to lick
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
