He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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