someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
