before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
