girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
im on a boat
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