If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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