no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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