I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
God, I missed his penis.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
