When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
