super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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