Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
