The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I deserve this hangover.
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