do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
