Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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