Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
