This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
