oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize