Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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