Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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