If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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