Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
