I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dignity is for republicans.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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