if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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