i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
