careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just forgot I was standing up.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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