I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
