He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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