Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
