I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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