Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
