I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
