Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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