garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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